You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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