If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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