Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
