so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
