Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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