Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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