Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
