No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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