Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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