it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
bring money and cleavage
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
