Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
