Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
