Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
