Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
