I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
