and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
NoShamevember. You game?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
