Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
