Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
