You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
