By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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