Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize