i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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