I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
