that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
