I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
