if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
What a fucking waste of an outfit
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
