His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
