dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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