it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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