do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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