So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize