we have officially lost it.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I think i got beer on your cat.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
