OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
