I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
