If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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