It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Randomize
