just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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