i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize