i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
