Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
