The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
