shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
