Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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