how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
