woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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