Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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