I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
This is not my ceiling
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
