Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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