I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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