dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I was not drunk enough for that final.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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