I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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