You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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