btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
