Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
