It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
