Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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