I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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