he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
