my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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