all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Even my vagina gasped.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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