I wish I could punch you in the face.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
